‘S very…chocolaty'
by chiral-inertia
Summary: Written for Higgy since it's her challenge i'm doing. AngelSpike fic about everyday life between the two with Xander and Giles coming over for a visit. Events that happen and some complete randomness. SLASH! CHAPTER 2 UP! COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

AUTHOR: AmethystxX  
  
DISCLAIMER: I BARELY own my cat, I think that it's pretty far fetched that I own a bleeding TV show lol. No one belongs to me! And that's the truth...I think...I dunno what lies are nowadays.  
  
**PAIRING: Angel/Spike...maybe some Xander/Spike I don't know yet :) **  
  
SUMMARY: Written for Higgy as her challenge is a real laugh riot :) AngelSpike fic about everyday life between the two with Xander and Giles coming over for a visit. Events that happen and some complete randomness. SLASH!

**NOTES: For the lovely Higgy! Since it's her challenge I'm doing! :)**

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**The Challenge:**

Characters must include: Angel, Spike, Xander and one other person from the Buffyverse of your choice.  
  
Objects:  
1. A half eaten candy bar  
2. A tub of peanut butter  
3. A reclining chair  
4. A piece of black tissue paper  
5. A rubber duck  
6. A paper shredder  
7. A black baseball cap  
8. A balloon pump  
  
Must be in someone's apartment  
Someone must slide into the kitchen wearing nothing but a pair of socks  
Someone must get hit in the face by a pair of boxers  
Lines:  
1. First line. "Yummy."  
2. Last line. "'S very...chocolaty."  
3. Line somewhere. "It tastes kinda funky. Not the bad kinda funky. Funky like a disco."  
4. Another line. "Take that out of there now young man!"  
5. Yet another line. "That was not supposed to happen..."  
6. In Scottish accent. "There's a wee moose in there corner!"  
  
Any additional features:  
1. "No I'm not going to catch you!"  
2. Someone being scared of clowns.  
3. Someone doing a busted jump.  
4. A burping contest.  
5. A cheesy wotsit in the sofa.

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**WOLFRAM AND HART, MORNING, ANGELS APARTMENT:**

"Yummy" Angel commented with appreciation as he walked into his kitchen only to be met with the sight of Spike, clad in socks....and only socks, with his back to him giving him full view of his arse...not that he was complaining.

"I dunno luv" Spike responded, turning around and holding up a tub of Peanut butter, "It doesn't look so yummy to me. How old is this Peanut butter?" Spike asked, sniffing the contents.

"Spike, I couldn't care less how old it was. It's not like it has a birthday, Just taste it" Angel replyed, rummaging in the fridge for his blood. Knowing Spike though, it could very well be in the freezer.

Spike shrugged, what harm could out of date peanut butter do to a vampire? Spike asked himself before sticking his fingers in the mess and putting them in his mouth. As Angel's head appeared out of the fridge he turned around just in time to see Spike pull a face. Angel grinned,

"What's it taste like?" Angel asked, chuckling as Spike stuck out his tongue while clenching his eyes shut then pulling it back in and swallowing the food.

Spike opened his eyes and persed his lips, "It tastes kinda funky. Not bad funky. Funky like a disco sorta funky" Spike answered, looking at the label again.

Angel's brows creased in confusion before he shook his head in exasperation. He wasn't even going to try and figure out what Spike just said. How can something be funky, not bad funky, but disco funky...I mean that's not stricty possi- No, not going there, Angel scolded himself.

"Its strange, I've never seen this label on Peanut Butter before. Its either new or unheard of" Spike said, still inspecting the Peanut butter with increasing interest.

Angel poured his and Spike's blood into mugs and shoved them into the microwave.

"I'm not surprised, that Peanut Butter was here before I was" Angel said as he walked past Spike into the bedroom.

"I thought you said you didn't know how old it was!" Spike shouted angrily as he threw the Peanut Butter into the trash while shuddering at the after taste it left.

"I did and I don't. I don't know how old it is because it was here before I was" Angel corrected, grinning at the annoyed look on Spike's face.

"So instead of telling me that the Peanut Butter has been there for God knows how long, you stood there and watched me, no, TOLD ME! To taste the bloody thing, am I right?" At Angels nod Spike clenched his jaw. I will not lose it, Spike thought to himself. I won't....I really won't...Oh who am I kidding!

"YOU!....You know what? Words cannot describe what you are to me at the moment. So what you are going to do is march into that kitchen, remove any items which are out of date, been here longer than you have or have congealed stuff around it, on it or in it. Is that clear Peaches!" Spike shouted angrily before he sighed at the look on Angel's face.

"Yes Angel, I am aware that I am naked apart from the socks I am wearing. I don't care what you think, I am just as much intimidating naked as I am dressed" Spike said, shoving Angel into the kitchen as he burst out laughing.

"Well as much as I love this beautiful sight," Angel grabbed Spike's arse which made him release a very unmanly yelp of surprise, "Xander and Giles are coming over to check this place out and I don't want them getting an eyeful of my boys arse! So get on some clothes you!" Angel told him, returning back into the bedroom.

"But I do have clothes on!" Spike said and wiggled his sock clad toes.

Angel shook his head and threw Spike some boxers, which hit head squarely in the face and when they fell showed the scowling face of one annoyed vampire.

"Now that was uncalled for," Spike muttered as he put on Angels oversized, black silk boxers only to discover black tissue paper stuffed into the crotch area. Spike looked at Angel incredulously and shook his head while Angel looked at him confused.

"What?" Angel asked when Spike started shaking his head and laughing at his clueless state.

"I always knew you had an ego but this is going too far mate" Spike replyed, patting at the crotch area. When it finally clicked Angel went beat red and coughed nervously. It didn't help when Spike pulled out said tissue paper and threw them at his head.

"Angel, when are you going to learn that no matter how much tissue paper you stick down there it's not ever going to show through your Armani pants. Hint: Wear Leather!" Spike said, patting Angel on the back and smirking at his discomfort.

"Oh and since I seem to have no clothing anymore since _someone _decided todestroy them all last night _said _person can go out and get me new clothes" Spike spoke happily, flopping down on the recliner and sticking his hands down the sides to look for the remote.

"I am not going out to get you new clothing" Angel protested weakly.

"I'm not the one who was so bloody horny that he decided that patience was not a vital thing in life, well unlife. I could go out like this if you want" Spike suggested, pulling out the remote from one of the sides of the recliner and also pulling out a cheesey wotsit. Spike looked at it, sniffed it, then thought it better to not push his luck with food anymore and threw it over his shoulder.

Angel stamped his feet, "Fine! But don't blame me when I get you something other than black!" Angel yelled in annoyance while grabbing his duster.

"Whatever pet, just remember you're the one who has to be seen with me!" Spike yelled back as the elevator doors closed.

Spike scoffed while flickering through the channels and muttered, "While he's at it he should get a T-Shirt saying 'WARNING: Mood swing imminent within next 3 minutes!" Spike settled down onto the recliner, making himself comfortable.

"Oh and Spike! Just thought I'd let you know that someone who stayed here before me had a taste for Peanut butter. He was here ten years ago though!" Angels voice drifted from the elevator shaft, amusement clear in his voice.

Spike turned a sickly green colour before he bolted for the bathroom.

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**WOLFRAM AND HART, MAIN ENTRANCE:**

"Hell-o!" Xander whistled as he circled the lobby of Wolfram and Hart, Giles following his steps closely.

"I mean wow! Who'd have thought that deadman himself could own a place like this. I wonder who he shagged to get it" Xander wondered, walking up to the front desk where he could see the back of a persons head.

"I'm sure Angel didn't have to 'shag' anyone Xander. Although I am a bit unsure as to why Angel owns a law firm, an Evil one at that" Giles said, looking around nervously for anything out of the ordinary.

"Excuse me?" Xander asked the woman as she swiveled around to face him, nail file in hand.

"Er yeah?" She replyed distainfully, trying not to stare at Xander's eye-patch.

"Do you know where I can find Angel's office?" Xander asked, shiftly on his feet as the woman stared at his eye-patch. She sniffed before returning to file her nails.

"There's a notice board over there, have a look. I don't get paid enough to tell people where they have to go. I take calls, take mail and get food. That's all" She responded, sticking a piece of bubblegum in her mouth and chewing noisily. Xander blinked at her dismissal and turned to face Giles while miming a long 'Ok' with his lips.

"I _really_ hope all the receptionists and assisstants aren't that ditsy" Xander said to Giles as they walked over and peared at the notice board by the stairs.

"Giles, Xander! I didn't realize you'd be here so early" Angel commented, walking over with a bundle of shopping bags.

"Why are you here early?" Angel asked suspiciously, shifting the bags in his arms and staring at Xander's eye-patch.

"No reason. Just heard that Dead Boy Junior was here and unalive so thought we'd come by early. That's not a problem is it?" Xander replyed, he would have laughed at Angel trying not to drop every bag he was holding, if Angel wasn't staring at his eye-patch with interest.

"Oh. That's erm...great" _Oh lord why did they have to come early, it's bad enough they were coming over at all!,_ Angel thought as he tried not to sound rude as he spoke. He also tried to remove his eyes from Xander's eye-patch by staring at Giles, but his eye's had a mind of their own.

"Well follow me to my santuary where Spike is sitting on the couch in my boxer shorts and his socks. There was some...unpleasantness where all his clothing was destroyed and I had to buy him some more" Angel said, shuffling over to the elevator in front of the Giles and Xander and pushing the button.

As the doors opened they walked in, the doors closed and the bottoms of all the bags Angel was holding split open making everything drop on their feet.

Angel looked down and sighed, "That was not supposed to happen... I just got a hold on them" Angel moaned, pouting.

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**Well that's the first part of my humour fic, complete randomness! Hehe**

**I made everyone have a obsession with Xander's eye-patch because things like that stick out and people do take notice even though they try not to notice.**

**Well please Read and Review to let me know what you think!**

**Hugs!**

**AmethystxX**


	2. Chapter 2, End

AUTHOR: AmethystxX

DISCLAIMER: I BARELY own my cat, I think that it's pretty far fetched that I own a bleeding TV show lol. No one belongs to me! And that's the truth...I think...I dunno what lies are nowadays.

**PAIRING: Angel/Spike**

SUMMARY: Written for Higgy as her challenge is a real laugh riot :) AngelSpike fic about everyday life between the two with Xander and Giles coming over for a visit. Events that happen and some complete randomness. SLASH!

**NOTES: For the lovely Higgy! Since it's her challenge I'm doing! :)**

**Yay! I got reviews! Yay reviews! Hugs and kisses for all! (Flinches as everyone glares)...Or not...either way is good :)**

**Here's another happy, sappy, chappy! Enjoy my pretties!**

**P.S. My cat is black with white paws and is INCREDIBLY cute! :)**

**WOLFRAM AND HART, ANGEL'S OFFICE:**

When Giles and Xander finally decided to take pity on Angel, they gathered up as much clothing as they could and followed Angel to his office. Just as they were about to enter, Giles and Xander were stopped by a shrill squeal.

Xander closed his eyes and kept his back to the horror behind him, hoping that it would disappear. Giles seemed to have a better idea and dashed, with Angel, into Angel's office.

"Oh my God! If it isn't Xander Harris! Well turn around and let me have a look at you!" Harmony's bubbly voice squealed as she hurried on ridiculously high heeled shoes. Xander clenched his jaw and turned to face Harmony, only to find Harmony frozen in place, mouth open and moving as a fish's would.

"Harmony?" Xander asked timidly, watching as her hand raised slowly, almost shaking, until it finally rested infront of his face, finger pointing out.

"Ewwwwww!" Harmony finally cried, finger pointing at Xander's eye-patch while her other hand reached up to touch her own eye, as if wondering what it would feel like to have an eye-patch over her own eye.

"Oh Harmony grow up will you!" Xander yelled, upset that everyone took notice at his eye-patch, life was so unfair. Without waiting for a reply from Harmony, Xander scrambled into Angel's office, pouting petulantly.

"Watcher, Harris. What're you doin' here?" Spike asked, stepping out of the elevator in socks and boxers. Xander turned to face Spike and walked backwards as Spike ran up towards him.

"Oh cool! I forgot you had an eye-patch! Can I see under it?" Spike asked excitedly, his hand reaching out to touch it. Xander smacked the had away, frustrated.

"No! Why is everyone so obsessed with my eye-patch! It's just a patch covering my eye because it's no longer there!" Xander yelled, his face flushed with anger. Spike shrugged, sitting on Angel's desk.

"Well it's not something you see on everyone else's face. Besides, I've never seen an eye socket without an eye before" Spike replied, looking through the clothes on Angel's desk.

"Oh for heaven's sake put some clothes on Spike! You look ridiculous!" Giles said, cleaning his glasses furiously. Spike huffed, done a busted jump off the desk, and grabbed a bunch of clothes.

"Fine! Just because your jealous of my lucious body doesn't mean you get to take your anger out of me" Spike muttered, pulling on a pair of snug black jeans and T-Shirt.

"Where's Angel anyway?" Spike asked when dressed.

"I believe he went to check on his friend in the science lab. I think they've found a new species of demon" Gile's replied, putting on his glasses and taking no notice of the still fuming Xander beside him, cursing his eye-patch.

"Really? Now this I've gotta see!" Spike said, running from the office. Giles sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose only to be slammed to the ground by Spike.

"What the bloody hell do you think your doing!" Giles shouted, picking up his glasses and pushing Spike off of him.

Spike ran to the weapons cabinet, grabbing a sword and ran back in front of Giles and Xander, who had now stopped cursing.

"Clown demon!" Spike said, raising his sword in a defensive pose.

"Clown demon?" Giles asked to himself, looking through the corridor for any signs of a demon. He found none.

"Clown?! Where?! Oh God! It's bad enough that there's clowns! But clown demons? Protect me Spike!" Xander babbled hysterically, clutching Spike's neck only to be thrown off not more than a second later.

"I don't believe I've ever heard of a clown demon" Gile's mumbled, frowning as he tried to remember anything about clown demons.

"I can't do this again! Last time this happened I was picking up candy bars and it lead me to a clown! I can't do this! The clown stole my candy bar!" Xander rambled, running around to find somewhere to hide. He couldn't find anywhere so settled for trying to climb up the walls.

"There is no clown demon. It's that new species from the science lab but it escaped. It looks like a clown and it sprays some sorta paint thingy that makes you go all coo-coo" Spike replied, sniffing the air around him and grimacing.

While Xander scrambled up the walls and Giles cleaned his glasses Angel came running through the open doors and stood next to Spike.

"It doesn't seem to like vampires and is trying to eat me" Angel said, looking at Spike as Spike looked at him. They turned back only to see a big blog of what could be red paint and the vampires dropped to the floor.

"INCOMING!" They yelled in unisen while dropping, turning to watch the paint narrowly miss Giles and splatter on the window.

"Good lord!" Giles shouted.

"If it's after vampires then what the hell am I doing in here!" Xander yelled, running out the door only to run back in and dive under the desk screaming.

Everyone, without Xander, gathered together and stood before the clown demon as it giggled insanely, holding up a balloon animal and a balloon pump. The clown cackled and pointed to the vampires.

"This is vampire's brains" he held up the balloon animal, "This is vampire's brains when paint hits them" He popped the balloon. Angel and Spike gulped. Giles shuddered. Xander continued shrieking.

The clown demon frowned at the desk and looked under it only to be kicked in the face by a terrified Xander. The clown demon flinched and Xander made his escape only to try clawing up the walls again. Angel, Spike and Giles sighed.

"Now you all die" The clown demon said, pulling out a black baseball cap and placing it on his head. He got out some tubes of 'Paint' and undid the caps. The clown chuckled, patted his cap lovingly and got out a half eaten candy bar.

"Hey! That's mine!" Xander yelled indignantly from a beam across the ceiling. How the hell did he get up there? Angel, Spike and Giles wondered, shaking their heads.

"Mine now!" The clown demon chuckled, finishing the candy bar and aiming the tubes of 'paint' at the three on the ground. Xander clenched his jaw and dropped onto the unsuspecting clown demon, snatched up his cap and running away with it.

"NO! not my cap!" The clown demon begged, watching as Xander ran towards a paper shredder. Xander smirked as he turned it on, holding the cap above it threateningly. The clown demon gulped.

"I've always wanted to try this" Xander muttered, smiling as he put the cap into the paper shredder, watching at it came out below it in shreds. The clown demon screeched, charging at Xander only to be grabbed by Angel and shoved onto the sword Spike was holding.

The clown glared at the vampires before he squirted a whole load of 'paint' onto the vampires while chuckling gleefully. He dropped to the ground, dead, half way through his chuckling. The vampires looked at each other before they looked at the mess on their shirts.

"Oops" They said, trying to smear the paint off with their hands. Giles came forward to help.

"No don't touch it!" Angel and Spike yelled, grabbing Gile's arms only to realize their mistake. They had paint on their hands. Giles glared at them.

"Oh yuck what's that?" Xander said coming forward and sticking his hands in the goop which covered Angel. They all glared at Xander's stupidity.

"WHOA!" Spike suddenly yelled, pointing into the corner of the room and grabbing hold of Angel's arm excitedly.

"What?" Angel asked, his words sounding a little bit slurred all of a sudden.

"There's a wee moose in there corner!" Spike replied, running into the corner and hovering his hand on something that only he could see. Angel shook his head as if to say no but decided that he liked the sensation it gave when he shook it and decided to keep shaking it. Giles held his hand out in front of him, looking at his fingers with interest, saying wow every now and then.

"Hey! Did you ever wonder that if we didn't have five fingers we'd only have four?" Giles asked, bending his fingers and saying 'wow' again.

Xander stared into space for a bit before running up to Angel and hitting him repeatedly over the head with his hand, saying 'Hey!' with every slap. After a while Angel stopped shaking his head and looked at Xander. Xander looked at Angel. Angel poked Xander in the eye-patch. Xander slapped Angel's head again and said 'Hey!'

They stared at each other again. Angel went to poke Xander in the eye-patch again but his hand was grabbed by Xander's. Xander slapped Angel's head again and shouted 'Hey!' to everyone in the room. They all turned to him.

"Let's play chase! Your it Angel! Catch me!" Xander ran across the office, hiding under the couch.

"No I'm not going to catch you!" Angel yelled, running into the elevator and dragging Spike with him. Noises could be heard as the doors closed.

Giles pushed the elevator button before he ran backwards, holding his thumb and checked it over. Xander came over and looked at Giles, confused.

"The devil makes work for idle thumbs" Giles whispered, holding up his thumb. The elevator dinged and Xander dragged Giles by his hair, while he held his thumb, with him into the elevator. Noises could be heard from upstairs as they rode up.

Xander screamed and held his hand over his eye, trying not to look at the scene in front of him as the doors opened. Angel and Spike making out with Angel's hand in...places. Giles looked up from his thumb and gasped as he saw Spike, in boxers and socks with Angel's hand down the front of the boxer's touching...things. They were both kissing furiously.

"My eyes! I mean, My eye! My beautiful eye!" Xander cried, peeking out behind the hand.

"Take that out of there right now young man!" Gile's voice boomed at Angel. Angel and Spike broke apart, much to Spike's disapointment, as Angel looked at the floor sheepishly. Xander grinned.

"Lets have a burping contest!" Xander shouted, releasing a long, loud burp which had Spike giggling insanely. Spike burped which was broke off half way by his surprise as Angel grabbed his arse. Spike smiled before his eye's rolled back and he dropped to the floor, followed by Angel, Giles and Xander, all in a dead faint.

When they woke up the next morning, they were all confused with head aches all smelling of paint. They couldn't remember what had happened the day before. Spike got up from the floor and slide on the kitchen floor to the fridge, feeling very hungry. He got out his pitcher of blood and grabbed the peanut butter on the side. He decided to experiment.

Spike dropped a lump of peanut butter into his blood and put the contents into a mug, to heat it in the microwave. As it pinged, Angel, who had been watching with distaste, watched as Spike tasted it cautiously.

"What's it taste like?" Angel asked coming up behind Spike.

Spike shrugged, smacking his lips, "S very...chocolaty"

**A/N: The phrase 'The devil makes work for idle thumbs' is in an advert in England. I dunno if anyone who's American has seen the advert. But it has people touching things with their thumbs then something happening to them :)**

THE END!

**Well that's all for my little humour fic. I'd like to know what you think! :) **

**The whole 'Angel shaking his head thing' I actually done that when I was bored. I sat there for 10 minutes shaking my head, watching my hair move. **

**Everyone think's I'm mad :(**

**Well Read and Review please my lovelys! **

**I don't have spell check so I'm sorry for mistakes :(**

**Hugs!**

**AmethystxX**


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